okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize