There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
