i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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