she looked like the bat from fern gully.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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