is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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