I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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