I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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