Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
