Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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