I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
