so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
