My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
