Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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