just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
