____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize