Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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