Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
