someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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