I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
