apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
