i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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