What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
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saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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