youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
