it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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