I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
