i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
