i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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