If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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