biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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