; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
