New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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