Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
