I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
