come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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