I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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