never play flip cup with pint glasses
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
