small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
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Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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