Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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