Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
