help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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