at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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