The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
