Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
