Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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