Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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