There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize