her vagine was all disorganized.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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