Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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