i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
