you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
