This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
