I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize