i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize