This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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