What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
