i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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