So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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