you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
