He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He better not be in your backpack
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
