I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
