Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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