Tell her she can't have a vagina
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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