That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
