You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
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i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
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Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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