My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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