I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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