Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
