whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
