Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
