eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
A+ Viking dick
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
